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31 January 2017 @ 01:58 pm
Drabble Fic - Inside (12.09)  

Title: Inside
Summary: 12.09 Drabble. Inside Sam's head all kinds of things are stirring.
Rating: PG13
Genre/Spoilers: Gen. Spoilers for Season 12.
Warnings: Unbeta'd
Word Count: 100
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural that privilege belongs to CW, Kripke and Co, I'm simply borrowing them for a while. I'm not making a profit, this is just for fun and all the standard disclaimers apply.


Inside his head, Sam assures his Mom that he's OK, and he pleads with Cas to get them out.

Inside his head, he's not trapped by six grey walls that get smaller every day.

Inside his head, scream-inducing hell-horrors stir from behind locked doors.

Inside his head, he talks non-stop about anything to beat back the harrowing silence.

Inside his head, Sam's not sure if he ever did escape the bloodied cage of Lucifer's design.

So when Billie arrives he accepts her blood pact because he'll do anything to save his brother from being trapped inside his own hell memories.

A/N: I thoroughly enjoyed this episode from start to finish! Badass and smart Boys, Mary and Cas working together and calling each other out, so many feels from Cas, and work out routines and running in jumpsuits ;) !!!! I gasped when Mary picked up that gun, and then gasped again when Cas killed Billie (Oh Billie, you were so awesome and I hope it's not the last we'll see of you!) I know many people have struggled a bit with the deal, so I've tried to explore it a little here.


borgmama1of5borgmama1of5 on January 31st, 2017 02:05 pm (UTC)
This is perfect! I urgently needed to know what was going on inside Sam's head--thank you for giving it to me!
madebyme_xmadebyme_x on January 31st, 2017 02:10 pm (UTC)
Yes, me too!!! Being caged like that must have stirred up so much hell trauma for both brothers, and I can see them agreeing to a deal to save each other from those memories.

I'm happy that this filled a gap for you, and thank you for stopping by! :)
Amberamberdreams on January 31st, 2017 05:24 pm (UTC)
Yes yes, exactly this! ♥
madebyme_xmadebyme_x on January 31st, 2017 06:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I simply couldn't resist exploring this a little bit more and I'm so happy that you liked it ♥
Karenfanspired on January 31st, 2017 09:27 pm (UTC)
It gave me the chills when Sam started working out, 'cause I think that was a deliberate nod back to his soulless days, and I think it was a visual way of saying he was slowly losing his soul in that cell.
madebyme_xmadebyme_x on February 1st, 2017 10:47 am (UTC)
What a wonderful insight! I hadn't thought about that, but it's such a powerful and heartbreaking thought, that Sam was slowly losing his soul. Thank you for sharing :)
Karenfanspired on February 1st, 2017 11:34 am (UTC)
You're welcome :)
zara_zeezara_zee on January 31st, 2017 09:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I loved this ep too, but while the way they shot it was an effective time lapse tool, I felt cut off from the boys and what they were feeling, an outsider looking in. Thank you for showing us 'inside'.
madebyme_xmadebyme_x on February 1st, 2017 10:51 am (UTC)
Yes!!! I agree, think that the time lapse was a useful way of showing us time passing, but it did cut us off from the boys emotionally, and what they were experiencing in their cells. I did appreciate that Dean mentioned that is was worst than hell, which is a terrifying thought, but I wanted to touch on that a bit more here. Thank you for stopping by :)
Author, visionary, dreamweaver: Samtoratio on January 31st, 2017 09:58 pm (UTC)

Poor Sam.

I really hope they do address some of this on the show.
madebyme_xmadebyme_x on February 1st, 2017 10:54 am (UTC)
Yes, poor Sam! Dean's line it being worse than hell were very powerful, but I wanted a little more, hence the drabble. I hope too that we see a little more about how this has effected the boys. Thanks for stopping by :)
Echo: Jensen/Thumb/Namestir_of_echoes on January 31st, 2017 10:03 pm (UTC)
madebyme_xmadebyme_x on February 1st, 2017 10:55 am (UTC)
Thank you!!!! ♥
milly_galmilly_gal on February 2nd, 2017 02:55 pm (UTC)
This is painfully perfect!!
madebyme_xmadebyme_x on February 2nd, 2017 04:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you so very much! I just couldn't help but explore a little more than we saw on Show. Take care :)
metallidean_grlmetallidean_grl on February 2nd, 2017 10:48 pm (UTC)
This was a very interesting look inside the mind and thoughts of Sam. I would suspect Dean's were similar. Both trying to beat the mind-numbing nothingness of no other human contact. I totally understand why they made the deal.

I read some comments immediately after the episode aired of some people not agreeing with Dean's statement that it was worse than Hell. Even though both of them were tortured in Hell, at least they had contact with other beings. They were able to act and react to others around them and to things being done TO them. But, in this never ending silence, not only do they have nothing to do but think, but they most likely started reliving every mistake they ever made and all the minutest torture they endured while in Hell. So, all in all, they were both reliving Hell while in a new kind of Hell. Yea, I can see why that would be worse than Hell.

Nice insight. Thanks.
madebyme_xmadebyme_x on February 3rd, 2017 11:16 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading, and for sharing your thinky thoughts too - I love to hear them! And yes, while watching, I could understand why they made the deal, but I think I would have liked to see a little bit more about how it was affecting them mentally and emotionally, but I guess that's hard to show, hence why I tried to explore that a little here.

Yes, this kind of mental torture would certainly allow them to relive their hell memories while being trapped inside another kind of hell, and I really like how you described that, it feels very accurate to me, and I think it goes a long way into describing what some people were struggling with.

Thank you so much for stopping by, and for sharing your thoughts! Take care :)
metallidean_grlmetallidean_grl on February 3rd, 2017 08:28 pm (UTC)
I do agree. It would have been nice to see a little bit more of the "going insane" while in captivity. While it may have been hard to show that, there are still some things they could have done to reflect the difficulty being locked up without any interaction was becoming for the boys. I guess there is only so much time, so little things like that must not be important to the writers in the scheme of things. Oh Well!
madebyme_xmadebyme_x on February 6th, 2017 11:31 am (UTC)
Yes, sometimes I wish we could have an extra minute or two of Show so that they can focus on the little things that us fans love. But I guess that's what fanfiction is for! Thanks for stopping by :)
tuesdaytootuesdaytoo on February 3rd, 2017 07:25 pm (UTC)
This was an awesome peek into Sam’s head! I liked that even as he deals with all his own horrors, his thoughts are of saving Dean.
madebyme_xmadebyme_x on February 6th, 2017 11:34 am (UTC)
Thank you so very much for your kind words! I wanted to explore a little further what was going on in their minds, and I think they couldn't help but think of each other, and how they were dealing with the hell memories it was stirring.

Take care and thanks again for stopping by :)
Kallielkalliel on February 25th, 2017 03:37 am (UTC)
I love the repetition of this, and the way it builds up all of these things into this unresolvable, untenable existence, right up to that last line. <33